Learning to Cherish Others – Successful “Selling” in Action

As entrepreneurs we are driven, driven to “win”, driven to “succeed”, driven to “make a mark”. What we often forget in this driving mode, is the well-being of others. Those others are our customers and our “competition”. Yet as my Buddhist teacher so kindly teaches me is that the well-being of others is far more significant than the well-being of a single ME.

Wait a minute, you say, “I am important. I am all I have. I have to feed my family.” And yes, that’s true and I am not disputing the need to make a living. What I am questioning is the attitude of “Me versus Them”. So, there you are, having created a wonderful family, a huge house, the newest car and an exciting vacation.

But at what price?

I dare to say that this kind of wish-fulfilling thinking is never going to lead to true, lasting fulfillment and happiness. Vacations will pass, children will grow up, homes depreciate and your car, no matter how great, becomes just another car. The price is disappointment, temporary highs followed by long lows, much pain.

So, then, where is true happiness to be found?

How can entrepreneurship become our ultimate spiritual practice? Can we find true happiness and livelihood through our work?

Yes, we can. We can if in effect, we start cherishing those we work with, those who trust us, those who look for us to deliver real solutions to their problems. Here is the trick, we have to drop the “ME” lens through which we tend to see our world of commerce. We have to abandon self-talk like: “What do I have to do so she buys from me?”; “When will he finally say yes to my offer?”; “What if she doesn’t buy?” etc. etc. I don’t need to go on because we all have enough practice in formulating those questions for ourselves.

There is no magic bullet here then, there is only one thing to shift and change, and believe me, nobody will see it but everybody will feel it.

That is our attitude.

If we can make get to a place of gratitude for the existence of all the people surrounding us, if we start to understand that we only exist because they do (“I am because they are”, is an old African saying.), then we can let go of our fear and really, I mean really serve the people willing to interact with us.

Yes, willing.

Today we all have more than enough choices and they happen to give you the time of the day. Now, that alone should be fuel to let go of the “ME” attitude and adopt the “YOU” attitude. Then, when you shift that little piece inside of you, you can listen, you can solve real problems, you can ask the right questions, you can share your wisdom, not for an outcome but for the joy of sharing, for the joy of giving, for the joy of helping.

And then, what happens? Magic…

People today are not used to that attitude, they will startle and wonder why in the world you would be so generous. They don’t understand that you are doing it because really, it makes you happy. It gives you so much more than the vacation, the car, the latest movie or the expensive dinner. It gives you true joy, a true sense of love for somebody you might just have met.

And then, something even more magical happens…

They start trusting you, they start listening to you, they pay full attention to you, they will want more of you. They are still wondering why, but it feels so good that they will drop their guards.

And then, something even better happens.…

You two become ONE mind for a bit, you join your thoughts, you feel real intimacy and then…when your solution meets their needs, truly and deeply, they will want to work with you…and nobody else. Why would they? For the first time in a long time, they don’t have to keep their “façade” up, they can stop scanning for danger, they can stop worrying about being taken advantage of. They feel safe with you.

So, if you want clients who become your life-long fans, your best friends, your supporters, you have to do something very courageous. Something, almost nobody does these days… Something that is even more difficult as well as more required in this economy…

You need to become a peaceful warrior, strong and quite, deep and focused, not on you, but on others. Take yourself out of the equation and become a servant. Be here on this earth for the benefit of those you serve and you will be taken care of.

No, you probably will not make a Million overnight, you will not want to…but with persistence and courage you will make a dignified, respectful living while solving your clients true problems and in turn allow them to live with renewed trust, faith, and love for the human race…and that will all need to be really happy.

May you all find happiness, real happiness,

Christiane